Dear John

"Dear John" is a movie that tells you everythang need to know right in the title: soldier boy meets blondie white girl, kiss, irritate a woould-be suitor, boy ships out for combat, girl daydreams at home, love letters, then she suddenly stops writing, months pass, finally homie getts one last letter. And of course, the dude's name is John.
Dear Lord Sweet Baby Jesus, are you fucking serious Duke?!!? Channing Tatum plays John Tyree, a Special Forces sergeant home on leave to visit his father. Amanda Seyfried (cute in "Mamma Mia" not so much in "Jennifer's Body") is Savannah Curtis, a college student who has also come home, on spring break in her case, to visit her wealthy parents. In those 2 weeks they fall madly in love and they both go back to where they were. Then the letters begin. She's writin' shit like, "Two weeks together, that's all it took, two weeks to fall in love with you." *blech* He's like, "I miss you so much it hurts." OMFG are we 12?!!?
Duke... why??
Then 9/11 happens. John and his squad re enlist for two more years. Savannah ain't havin it and marries the dude that was tryin to gett at her before. blahblahblah
That's what you gett you fucking poodle! You should have went to Cancun for your leave during spring break, dummy! Ain't them boys in special forces supposed to be smarter then that?

7 outta 10

An unhappy ending chick flick. I know my wife diggs Duke (handsome sonuvabitch) but the chicks not hott enough to hold my attention. Girls don't gett mad if your dude makes 2 or 3 trips to the toilet & concessions or even disappears for a half hour to hitt the arcade.